Save Me from the Bees

It was a lovely day the other day. We had just bought a smart new table with a parasol thing on top. We took out some food to the garden and settled down for a nice family lunch with our daughter and dog. Then a cloud appeared on the horizon and thousands (and I mean thousands) of nasty Amazonian bees came buzzing towards us.

I had to grab the little one and run into the house as quickly as possible. Then I went back for my daughter before slamming the door and windows shut. Anyway, I want to see if there is anything I can get to avoid similar problems in the future. Otherwise my new patio set will need to sit and rust in the garage along with the drill, the lawnmower and every tool I have ever bought.

Could I hire bee keepers even if I don’t have my own bees? It might seem a trifle extravagant but I could get one in to do some odd jobs about the place while we wait for them to come back. When they do he can throw down his sponge and mop before grabbing his bee stuff. It could work.

Maybe I could buy some gear from a tennis retailer and swat them all away. I reckon I would be pretty hard pushed to hit them all but perhaps if they saw me with a Bjorn Borg type sweatband on my head it would terrify them anyway.

I am thinking of contacting some local small dog breeders. You see, I reckon that there must be an anti bee type of dog somewhere. Mine certainly isn’t from an anti bee breed and to be honest I don’t think he is an anti anything dog.

You might think that sweet fruit drinks are the last things I need but I have a cunning plan. I will use these sugary delights to lure the bees to my annoying neighbour’s garden instead. The only problem is that if this good weather keeps up I will probably end up drinking them all myself. Ah well, back to the swatting I suppose.

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