The Games That Should Have Existed

lawnI just read about the PlayStation 4 and my memory took me back in time to a very distant place in which an excited little boy opened up his Christmas present. This little boy knew that it was a ZX Spectrum in it but that didn’t stop him from ripping the paper to shreds and almost falling down the stairs in excitement. I (for yes, t’was me in an earlier life) have played a lot of games since that day but I wonder what ones never existed and should have done.

One of the worst games I ever played was on that faithful old spectrum. It was called something like Lawnmower Simulator and involved moving a lawnmower over a lawn and, well, , mowing it. I fear that a game based on vacuum cleaner reviews might be equally dull but I would still like to see it.

specAn exciting game based on African safaris would be rather more thrilling, I feel. Maybe we could get this one sorted out in time for the PlayStation 4. Failing that, I think I still have an old Nintendo NES kicking around somewhere which I rather fancy playing again.

An action game based on how to get rid termites could be a winner. As well as being a thrill a minute it would also be pretty educational. In fact, it could be part of a series of games which also includes 5 Steps to Killing All the Ants in Your Bathroom, Don’t Let Woodworm Ruin Your Bed and (my favourite) Destroying Ant Nests is Easier Than You Thought.

What about the idea of pruning tomato plants on screen? I think this would work best if the game came with a special pruning accessory which was linked to the console by Bluetooth and let you actually prune while you played. You could get together a group of neighbours for a game and leave your garden looking perfect into the bargain.

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