Did you see those pictures of Earth which were taken from about 900 milion miles away? Good lord, they made me feel even more small and insignificant than I usually feel. How creepy would it feel to be so far from our planet and see that it is really just a tiny little dot after all? I always thought we were the centre of the universe but now it turns out that we are like the dodgy neighbourhood out by the recycling dump where no one wants to live. What could I do while so far from Earth to stop me feeling so spooked out?
I could watch some gee gee racing on the TV. Can astronauts pick up TV signals out there? Maybe they take some DVDs with them instead. I honestly don’t know what they do to keep themselves entertained. Maybe they play I spy with planets and asteroids and space debris and stuff.
I could float about inside the craft and try to catch hold of my toilet paper holder, because that it sure to be a big problem once you are up there without your friend Mr Gravity. I think going to the toilet in space would probably be my biggest fear about being an astronaut. Oh yeah, and getting lost 900 million miles from home and drifting aimlessly for the rest of my empty, meaningless life.
Imagine that I had forgotten to get my eyeglasses repair carried out before leaving the planet. My fellow astronauts would be saying stuff like, Wow, look there’s Earth and I would be going, uh, it is that blurry little dot with rings round it?
I guess spaceships must have some secret commerical freezers in them. This being the case, now would be a good moment to crack out a bottle of champagne and wonder about the mysteries of life, the universe and everything.