While watching one of those fictional TV series about the life of a US president I got to wondering about how much I would enjoy the job. I have to admit that it isn’t my ideal career but maybe I can come up with some ways to make it worthwhile after all.
For a start, I would need to start looking after my nails more, which can’t be a bad thing. I just had a look at them and they are a bit too shabby to go on public show every day. Maybe I could be the first ever US president to use acrylic nail designs. It’s not such a ridiculous idea, as I heard that one of them in the past had wooden teeth. Actually, apparently George’s teeth weren’t made of wood but my nails might be.
Have you ever seen a president with a hoodie on? I think I saw Obama use one once but I can’t be sure. Of course, I would be pretty classy about it and just wear some plain hoodies with a back to front baseball cap and a pair of trousers which slide half way down my bottom. Speaking of which, why did that utterly ridiculous style get to be so popular all round the world? I have seen people with their trosuers at their knees in every country I’ve gone to and it ain’t pretty. Outlawing it would be my first job.
I could go the whole hog, get some wholesale hip hop clothing and cut a presidential rap track. I can see all my aides getting down in the White House while I, err, burn up the mic. No, it’s not going to happen for so many reasons, is it?
Of course, I would also need some new anti virus software as well. It’s all very well losing my spreadsheet which tracks how many chocolate biscuits I eat a day but I can’t go losing any of the top secret government documents on the countries I plan to invade, can I?