There are many things which annoy me in life. Advice about food and drink is one of them. Red wine will kill you. Chocolate will make you live longer. Red wine will keep you healthy. Chocolate will make you all spotty and then kill you. Brussel sprouts give you bad breath. Brussel sprouts will stop your brain from falling out. Now we are being told that skipping breakfast could give you a heart attack? Fine, let’s come up with a breakfast so we don’t all die then.
Get a bloomin big candy mold and make a giant bar of chocolate. The latest word is that dark chocolate is good for your heart, so make your breakfast every morning a kilo of this stuff. One of the few exciting stories I have about chocolate is the fact that I once ate a cocoa bean straight from a tree in Ecuador. It tasted foul. It actually wasn’t all that good a story, was it?
Is beef jerky a healthy breakfast food? They have something here in South America called charque and in South Africa there is a snack called biltong. It’s all the same thing, isn’t it? Why don’t they just call it the same name? How I wish Esperanto had succeeded.
Could you be bothered getting out your fly fishing supplies and going out for some fresh trout in the morning? I can’t imagine doing this but it must be what people did before supermarkets, fridges and laziness existed. I think I’ll just take a look in my fridge for something if you don’t mind.
What about getting hold of some bbq recipes and making some sausages or hamburgers out in the garden before you go to work? At the rate I make food on a barbecue I would need to wake up at about 3 in the morning to get started on it. Still, it would be a great way to annoy the neighbours by wafting lovely food smells up to their window in the early morning. I guess I would be helping them to avoud a heart attack by eating breakfast.