Lefties of the World Unite

I just realised that today is International Left Handers Day. As a proud but rather clumsy southpaw you would think that I was up first thing in the morning cutting things with my left handed scissors and shouting abuse at random right handers as they walked past my house. But no, I was completely oblivious to the fact that today is my big day, and now I only have a few hours to enjoy it. So what left handed inventions can I come up with before midnight strikes and I go baccto becoming part of an oppressed and mocked minority again?

leftI think that southpaw leather recliners could be a good idea, as I always end up with my arm twisted round in an awkward way. Is this because I am a leftie or is just because I don’t know how to sit down properly? I honestly don’t know but I think that it might all be part of a right handed plan to make us uncomfortable and therefore less able to demand our rights. And they say that we are evil.

Do left handed archery courses even exist? While we are on the subject of medieval fighting, did you know that most castles were designed to make it difficult for right handed swordsmen to attack. This was achieved by making the spiral staircases go round un such a way that someone going up the stairs would need to use their left hand to fight. Hey, I could have been a surprisingly successful castle raider if only I had been born a southfew centuries earlier.

Do any other lefties have problems with fridges? I have never seen left handed French door refrigerators but they sound like a great idea. I could finally get a midnight snack without making a noise as my useless right hand knocks the yoguhrts off their shelf.

Would southpaw shower curtains help me splash less water on the floor. It’s got to be worth a try, although I am not yet convinced of the benefits of this product.


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