We’re Off to Mars

marsYep, you heard me right;  we are all off to Mars. Sure, I only read the headline for the story and don’t know any of the ins and outs of it but I have already started packing anyway. So just what would I take to Mars with me?

I would definitely need to pack away some free woodworking plans with me. After all, I won’t be able to just walk into a Martian shop and buy a table and some chairs for my new hermetically sealed tent house. Actually, given my previous problems with manual jobs it might be easier to pack away a carpenter instead. Actually, given my problems with carepenters maybe I could just do without the furniture until IKEA opens up a branch in Mars and I can get a plate of meatballs with my chairs.

martianI wouldn’t mind looking at some aluminium boats for sale before I head off into the sky. What do you mean, there’s no water on Mars? I know that; I am not stupid. I plan to take some water with me and start off a rudimentary weather system inside a giant dome, which will eventually lead to a lake forming for me to sail on. I’ve got it all planned out.

I really need to take some good BBQ recipes with me. Can you imagine sitting on Mars with a giant saugage on your fork and trying to spot the planet Earth in among the stars? It would be a really weird way to have a barbecue and I think that it would go well with a grilled green salad or maybe some spicy chicken legs.

With so much luggage I really need a boat loader, don’t I? Normally I would ask for a spaceship loader for such as trip but I am not sure that such a thing even exists. Ah, there is so much for me to learn about space travel before I sit down in my pilot’s seat and take off the hand brake before setting sail for my new red home.

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