A New Prince is Born

princeI don’t tend to keep up to date with the latest news from the British royal family. Is the Queen still running the country with a fist of iron and is Charles still a bit strange? The only news which has reached me from the house of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is that a boy has been born. The new prince ( I guess he is my prince as well, since I still have a British passport) is in for an interesting life. I wonder what he will get up to.

Perhaps he could break with centuries of royal tradition and become the first prince to design contemporary floor lamps or maybe rugs. I think it is about time that the royals got more involved in the world of interior design.

babyThere seems to be a distinct lack of weird hair colors in Buckingham Palace. Maybe the new boy could be the first princely punk. Wouldn’t it be great to see Charles’ grandchild wander about with orange hair and a pin through his regal nose? It’s time for the cot he uses in the palace to get some Clash and Sex Pistols songs pumped into it.

I am thinking as well that it is time to capture the American market. Sure, out cousins across the pond love all that cut glass accent and changing of the guard nonsense but what about if the new price was like one of them? We could get him some custom softball t shirts and teach him how to play American football and how to say things like “have a nice day” and “awesome” and be polite to people.

Or we could go all retro, give him a suit of armour and some archery courses and send him off to conquer distant lands on behalf of his queen. Look out Australia and New Zealand, we’re coming to get you back again. Actually, you are probably safe enough in New Zealand now that I think about it.



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