A Modern Guy Called Marion

I was interested to see the top 100 baby names listed this week. It’s not that I am expecting a baby, but I am thinking of changing my own name at some point.

Robert just isn’t hip enough these days, is it? It might have been okay a couple of decades ago but then so was big hair and padded shoulders. I think I need a new, modern image as the kind of cool, tech savvy sort of guy I am. No, really. I am.

Anyway, I decided to make a stunningly clever and ironic reverse fashion statement by going back in time and checking out the most popular boy’s names from the 1880s. What do think the number one was? Ebenezer? Rupert? No, it was plain old John. That’s even worse than Robert in the cool stakes! I’ll never make it onto MTV with that name. Anyway, I scrolled down to number 91 just for the sake of it (have I mentioned my rather empty social life before) and found Marion.

Another Marion

Now that is more like it. It might be a girl’s name really but if it was good enough for John Wayne – until he changed it – and a small percentage of the boys of the late 19th century it is sure good enough for me.

Now that I have my new name I would quite like a cool new look. Unfortunately, I am not yet trendy enough to know what Mephisto boots are, so I am just hoping that they are ideal for modern guys called Marion.

Of course, no new look is complete without Oakley sunglasses. Actually, when did it become trendy and rebellious to use sunglasses no matter what the weather or social occasion? Isn’t it amazing how even a simple guy called Marion can look like a rock god with a pair of shades and a nice set of boots? Will there come a point in the future when the counter fashion revolution kicks in and only boring old guys wear sunglasses, and even then only when the sun is too strong for them?

At this point I should complete my fabulous new image with a roaring motorbike or maybe a glamorous moll. Unfortunately, I saw pumpkin decorations and thought, “ooh, lovely”. Some people just can’t change no matter how hard they try.