The New Healthy Me

We all realise at some point in our lives that it is time to change our ways and live a little bit healthier. My own breaking point came recently when I was laid up in bed feeling like death for a day because of the exertion of playing some games with my one year old daughter. Right, so it’s time for action then. Where can I get something to change my life drastically.

I’ll start with some errr Tempurpedic pillows, shall I? I was honestly considering diving right in and buying some dumbbells or yoga DVDs but you can’t be too careful about these things, can you? I reckon that it is best to get my head rested and my neck straightened out before moving on to the heavy stuff.

What if I then buy some Ikea kitchens and fit the stuff myself? I always find that putting together furniture makes me come out in a sweat, raises my heart rate and leaves my out of breath. I guess that must make it a good exercise for me. If I do the whole kitchen I will probably lose about three stones.

To regain some of my street cred can I just point out that I once went down a fairly fast flowing tropical river inside a large tyre? Bet that impressed you, although you may be wondering quite why I did it in the first place. Anyway, now I am ready to move onto the next phase in my self improvement plan and buy some Sea kayaks essentials. Actually, I don’t have the kayak yet but I guess that is included in the essentials bit, right? I’d be pretty silly to buy the bright coloured jackets and the oars and whatever else you need and not have a blooming kayak to use them in.

After putting together my kitchen and trying on all of my kayak gear I reckon I will be ready for a Spa massage. Can you believe that I have not yet experienced either a spa or a massage in my whole life to date? Perhaps this is part of the reason for my lack of fitness. I have heard that top athletes get regular massages and maybe if I get them I will be sports star too. It certainly beats working out.

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