It’s ok , you can calm down. The aliens aren’t really coming. Well, maybe they are and I just don’t know about it yet. If they were then what would we do about it? The answer might be that with a little bit of forward planning we could stand up to those beasts from a far away world.
What if the Earth were to be attacked by fish from a different planet? Hmm, this one is quite easy as we would just need to buy a huge amount of fly fishing suppplies and send up Bruce Willis, Will Smith and a few other people to reel them in them and give them a taste of their own medicine.
If we could get skate sharpening carried out on an industrial scale then we get a giant catapult to send all that sharpened footwear hurtling into space. There can’t be many alien races who could cope with kind of artillery, is there? If it fails I’ll get my Mum to throw slippers at them, like she used to do whenever a rat entered the house.
Would these fiends from another world be as afraid of bees as I am? We could get a troop of bee keepers trained up as astronauts and send them out to take on the baddies. Even if the plan doesn’t work we still get rid of loads of annoying bees. I guess that would be a small amount of comfort to me as their laser guns and giant brain sucking devices started to get to work on us poor Earthlings.
Maybe if we covered the entire planet in Halloween lights they would shove off back to their own piece of rock. They would probably get confused by all of those light and they might think they are the real brains on the planet and us humans are just big, lumbering slaves of the lights. I could live with being called that if they sucked the brains out of the lights instead of my head.
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