Am I the New Lady Gaga?

My life is such a bundle of laughs that the other day I stumbled across a website with details of Lady Gaga’s most atrocious outfits. Oh how I laughed at her total lack of style. Anyway, I wonder if I could dress as badly as her if I really tried hard.

One of Gaga’s most lamentable dresses was apparently made entirely out of raw meat. I could go one better and get a pair of trousers made out of beef jerky. This would have the added benefit of being ready to eat once I got home and slipped into my pyjamas. I wonder what Gaga did with her meat dress once she had worn it. I mean, it’s hardly the kind of thing you would want to wear twice, is it?

If I wore a camouflage dress I certainly wouldn’t look like her, as she doesn’t blend into the background anywhere, unless the background in question is a particularly garish.,multi coloured thing which has lots of weird stuff on it.

I saw that she once had a dress made out of bubble wrap so how could I beat that? Well, I could look for used bicycles for sale and strap bits of them onto my body. The pedals could stick out of my shoulders and the seat could be a rather fetching bottom enhancer. The only problem is that I don’t think I am cool enough to pull this off. I would just look like a second rate freak who had stuck bicycle parts onto my body, which to be fair is what I would be. Maybe a wig would help me out here.

I am really getting into the swing of things now and I just thought of putting a small microwave oven on my head. This would be a great type of fashion headgear and would also make a strong statement about, well, something or other. Let’s see if I can get this outfit together before Lady Gaga beats me to it.

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