Things to Avoid in 2012

It sometimes seems to me that bizarre things happen to me more than to other people. Yesterday I was going to speak to the local carpenter when his huge dog came out and scratched my leg. This came a week after temporarily losing my hearing due to a wax issue and a couple of weeks after losing a nail on one of my fingers when I tried to fix a door. Anyway, what else should I try and avoid this year?

I just can’t see what damage I can cause to myself with ground cover plants. After all, they can’t exactly come running after me or anything. Still, it pays to be wary of green stuff, as I once got a nasty cut from a blade of grass. I was leaving my house to go to school and no one had ever told me that grass was so sharp. Even worse was my mate who decided to chew on a bit of grass to “look cool”. He swallowed the blooming thing and had to go to hospital to get it surgically removed.

Can you imagine the carnage I could cause with bathroom lighting fixtures? I would class changing light bulbs as one of the household jobs which I can do, but I may start to have second thoughts if my run of weird accidents carries on. Hey, I could just use a candle and call it mood lighting.

I can’t even begin to think of what would happen if I were to use outdoor bar stools. Fresh air and alcohol make up a pretty potent mixture and I just can’t see myself lasting all night in a sitting position. I have only ever fallen off a bar stool once to be honest, although it was quite a spectacular, tequila induced tumble which people tell me happened in slow motion.

I actually made quite a good decision with my shower. It has glass shower doors but the doors have a design on them. I just think that plain glass doors are an accident waiting to happen. I have, so far, avoided that incredible foolishness of walking into a glass door by not even realising that it is there. Let’s hope it doesn’t happen to me this year but I will tell you if it does.

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