Would You Watch This Nonsense?

I have never confessed this before to anyone but I used to write comedy scripts for TV shows. Bad ones.

When I worked in a dimly lit office in a faceless bank branch every day at work was a giddy adventure offering thrills, spills and three varieties of hot drinks in the office coffee machine. To help me cope with the high adrenalin lifestyle of ordering cheque books and debit cards I started surreptitiously writing television scripts at my desk. Maybe it is time to resuscitate one of them now after all these years.

A Horsey Affair

Would a sit com about gee gee racing be a runaway success? I wrote a pilot episode for one which involved an overly tall jockey and a horse which attacked its jockeys. It could have been bigger than Mr Ed.

Furniture and Romance. In Canada

I have never seen a great comedy show set in Canada. Do they exist? I guess they must but I honestly don’t know what the Canadian sense of humour is like. If I had to guess I would it was a cross between British and American with a twist of French thrown in. Anyway, a show set in IKEA Canada with some romantic undertows could be a winner once I sort this out.

Living in a Factory

Old disused factories are great settings for maniacal toys which have come to live and killer robots from the future. Are they any good for my brand of less than rib tickling comedy, though? I once wrote a couple of episodes about a family baking business which maybe I could adapt to take place in olde stove works. I’ll need to remove the bread puns though and to be fair that’s about half the material gone at a stroke.

Animals for Cheap Laughs

Animals are great for cheap laughs, which is why I always included a couple in my scripts. Maybe I could go the whole hog now and write about the world of small dog breeders. Expect plenty of jokes about dogs peeing on shoes and rubbing against legs. Can’t wait for it, can you?

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