What a fantastic summer that was, eh? Here in the southern hemisphere we are about to slip seamlessly into autumn. In fact ,we might already have done, as I can never work out what day the seasons change. Anyway, the sun has bid a cheery farewell and it’s getting blooming cold now. What can we do to stop the cold weather making us miserable until next summer?
Maybe I could start dabbling in the heady world of modern cuisine. I bet you never expected that to be one of my winter beating solutions, did you? Well, from what I know of modern cuisine (which is next to nothing) you need to serve up about 10 courses in every meal. This would mean that I would have pots bubbling away and pans merrily sizzling for hours on end, on the basis that it takes me half an hour just to make a plate of fried eggs. This would heat up my kitchen well. Of course, I could just leave pots of water boiling all day but that seems rather wasteful even to me.
I once caused a nasty accident with a Bunsen burner at school. If I could get hold of some lab equipment and control the fire a little better then I could warm up the place in no time. One of the numerous flaws in this plan is that there is fire service in town. There is an old fire engine which the Belgians donated to us but no one knows how to use it. Maybe I’ll leave this plan until I am really desperate.
I could order a heat treat. Actually, before I do could I ask what this is. It sounds to me that some masseuses would come round and put hot stones on my back while I was wrapped in a plastic suit. It sounds like what I need right now.
The best solution doesn’t even involve boiling pots, hot stones or flammable liquids. Oh no, all I need is a sunroof installation. Even when it is cold here it is usually sunny, so I could lie under this all day. Of course, if they want come round with the hot stones I won’t protest too much.
Add your suggestion to the list