Get a New Sport

I once had the smart idea of combining football and golf to come up with a whole new game. The problems started when I smacked a friend in the leg with my 6 iron. I guess I should have looked at a different way of combining the two sports in one.

Anyway, what other sports could we revitalise by combining them with something else?

What about mixing basketball and copper gutters? Actually, I hate basketball. Am I the only person who sees it as being a bit pointless? I realise that all sports are essentially exercises in wasting time but basketball seems especially frivolous to me. Some of the highest paid sportspeople in the world play basketball and I can’t help thinking that they can’t believe their luck at getting paid for doing something so silly.

Now, in what kind of sports could a vacuum cleaner come in handy? Well, what about ice hockey? You would be sliding about on the ice and trying to control the puck using a blooming Dyson. It sounds like the kind of sport which I used to love watching as a kid and it might even tempt me to look out my old vacuum cleaner for a game or two.

If you really want to enhance your game of water polo then you need to get some Spanish goats involved. To be honest, I don’t even know if Iberian cabras can swim or not but I reckon that having one on your team would get the rival team a bit scared. In fact, the idea of adding a few animal team mates to your team sounds like a really good one if your ask me.

I used to play a lot of darts as a kid, as we won a dartboard in a newspaper competition and didn’t want it to go to waste. However, I have never seen English bulldogs get involved in the game. Wouldn’t it be a lot more interesting if a pack of slavering dogs stood on the other side of the oche and tried to put the players off?

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