I Ain’t Gonna be Jumping From Space

Ok, so I’ll admit it; I was as excited as anyone else when I saw some chap called Felix skydive from outer space. The closest I have come to doing something like this came when I fell off a ladder a few months ago, although I am not sure whether I broke the sound barrier or not.

Anyway, I got to thinking about what exciting things I could do that might let me wrestle the record for number of YouTube views off him.

I could get hold of a Deutz farm tractor and get some extreme harvesting going on. If you have never seen a tractor tearing up the  carrots at high speed then get ready to click on YouTube and be amazed. I might even relax with a cup of carrot tea and some carrot cake afterwards. It really is a very versatile vegetable and well worth risking serious injury for.

I don’t really know what fibreglass hot rods are but they sound fast and exciting. Are they cars?  I just did some light research and it seems that it involves customising vehicles to make them look weird. I could do that. If you give me an infinite amount of fibreglass and several decades I promise to make a hot rod which will blow your socks off.

What’s the most exciting situation you have ever seen a backrest involved in? I am going to stick my neck out here and say that it is probably someone resting their back on one of them. Well, all that is about to change when I cunningly flip one around use it to a float while I plunge headfirst over the Iguazu Falls. They do float, don’t they?

Spiral stairs are pretty exciting, aren’t they? Can you imagine me slipping on a pair of flippers and putting a big block of butter under my back. I will then whizz down the stairs at high speed and come to a crashing halt at the bottom. Will the whole world watch me?

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