The Pigs Are Calling

I think I mentioned a while back that I have a pig farm. I don’t go to it much as my mother in law looks after them.

This week ,however, she got struck down by a bug. This was bad for her as she was vomiting all over the place and then confined to her bed. It was even worse for me though, as I had to do some real work for a change. The following is what I learned.

I definitely don’t need a full length mirror for when I get back home. The porky chaps left me looking like a complete disaster every single day. I don’t normally go to great lengths to look good but I do at least tend to not have pig poo stuck to my trousers and jumper.

I need some safety footwear. The first day I went there with my sandals on as it was quite sunny. I ended up with my feet bruised and dirty. The problem is that my porcine friends go crazy when they smell their food on the way to them. As luck would have it I found an old pair of wellies there the next day but they were a bit too small for me and I ended up hopping around like a fool. I really need to get my own pair now. Wellies are quite cool anyway, aren’t they?

All the houses here have big water tanks on the rooves but I need a bigger one for my post pig showers. It is incredibly difficult to get the smell of pig off one’s hands and arms. I had the longest shower of my life yesterday and could still smell the pigs after it. I guess you must get used to it after a while but for the moment I hate the odour of porkers.

The best thing about my week of pig watching is that I got to enjoy some of the exotic flowers on the way there. I spend a lot of time in front of my PC and I was really glad to get out and drive into the countryside each day. Looking after pigs isn’t my ideal hobby but it got me out of the house at least.

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