You Really Shouldn’t Have

I am sorry. I don’t like to apologise so early on but I am feeling a bit grumpy today. Christmas is almost upon us and I haven’t bought any presents yet. I also have a funny feeling that the gifts I finally buy are going to end up being hopelessly inappropriate. Like these little beauties.

Can you imagine a worse Christmas present that basement dehumidifiers? Don’t get me wrong, these appliances do a great job in keeping our subterranean rooms free of that pesky humidity but they are just a little bit dull, aren’t they? Can you imagine excitedly unwrapping your gift on Christmas and finding one of these bad boys waiting for you? If you want to liven up my lower ground floor then what about giving me a giant TV or some disco lights. Are you telling me that you find my basement musky and, indeed, funky?

Actually, I just found a worse gift; galvanized coils. I mean, come on. So last year we got him some socks and the year before that we got him a nice scarf. I know, we’ll find him a set of lovely zinc coated loops. No thanks. I’ll have another of those silly scarves instead if you don’t mind.

What about stupid water tanks, eh? Ah, hang on a sec, I could actually do with one of these. If my mum is reading then one of about 120 litres would be fine.

I realise that I always show my ignorance on here, but who or what is crankshaft grinding? Is it a 1960s dance craze or some sort of Malaysian torture method? In neither of those cases do I see it as being a particularly good festive gift to be honest.

Actually, this little rant has made me feel a lot better. My wife has been hinting at wanting some new women’s jeans for some time (try a year) and I might just go out and buy her some right now. Unless I see some galvanized coils on the way of course.

Add your suggestion to the list

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *