Despite the satisfaction I get from being the internet’s number 1 writer (sorry, did someone just cough there?) I still sometimes feel the need to branch out in other directions. What other area could I take my talents into I wonder?
I could sign up with an acting agency and become a star. The only time I have ever been on camera was when we did a school play of Bugsy Malone and some fool decided to film it. The best moment, and my crowning glory, came when I got a bit over excited and my false moustache blew off. I somehow managed to catch it in mid flight and stick it back on again, all the while thinking that no one had noticed. They had.
I see there are some talent agencies at Edmonton. I have always wanted to be a tap dancer and now could be the right time to live the dream. Do I have to go to Alberta to do it though? Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against Canada and it seems like a splendid place to learn how to be a star but it might be a bit far for me to drive there every day.
Maybe I could work as a garage door opener. After all, it seems like an easy sort of job. Oh, it’s a listing for an automatic door opener? I knew it sounded too good to be true.
Antique book appreaisers have got an easy job, haven’t they? Sitting around looking at musty old books all days sounds like a bit of a lark. Maybe I will come across a never before seen bible or a Charles Dickens handwritten manuscript? Nah, I will probably just get bored to tears leafing througn boring old books, that’s all.
Forest consultants you say? I don’t know. Too much greenery gives me a bit of a headache. Could I maybe take the job but do it from a 54th floor office in a skycraper in the middle of a big city?
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