Put Down That Guitar and Make Some Music

I once bought a guitar. I had hated playing one at school but had put this down to me being left handed and being forced to play in the right handed way. I tried to do a Hendrix and spin it around but the teacher would have none of it.

Anyway, once I was old enough I splashed out a few pounds on a left handed guitar. The problems began on the train ride home, though. A group of drunks went on and on at me to play a few tunes but I didn’t have a clue how to play the thing. In the end I slunk off the train a few stops early and the guitar and I got soaked walking the rest of the way home.

I never did learn how to play that thing and now I am left wondering whether it would be best to forget about guitars and hammer out some tunes on something a bit easier to play.

I reckon I could get some beats going on an electric water heater. Would it be dangerous? Ha, I would cunningly leave it switched off while I recorded my avant garde album.

Have you ever noticed how beaded curtains make a kind of cool swishing noise when you walk through them? I reckon that if I jumped back and forward between one side of the curtain and the other it could get kind of musical. It would be good exercise as well, I suppose.

I have probably mentioned before that I have some curtain rods I keep meaning to put up. Since it looks like that day isn’t going to arrive in this millennium I might as well play a unique version of Eight Miles High on them instead.

Could trout farming be the key? Possibly not but I could maybe teach the trout to sing and perform as a massed choir. Does anyone know if they are tenors or sopranos?

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