Don’t Be a Shrinking Violet

Don’t you just hate being a shrinking violet? If only there were some aids around to make it easier to avoid this. What’s that? There are?

Let’s start with a toilet roll holder, shall we? How can that help you be less shy and retiring? Well, if you put it on your head and walk down the street with it on then you are sure to strike up some interesting conversations. If you have never tried this then you will want to fit an elastic strap to the holder so that it doesn’t fall off as you walk. Now that would be embarrassing.

What about painting your house with fluorescent paint? I only mention this because I still need to paint my house and I think that something that attracts attention would get me talking to the neighbours. Admittedly most of the conversations would be about them threatening to report me for making the street an eyesore but at least its a starting point for future friendships, isn’t it?

Would a full length mirror make me more outgoing? Well, let me put it this way, I won’t be stuck in all day long looking at myself and asking who is the fairest in the land? I have always had a strange aversion to mirrors and a full length one hanging around in my bedroom is enough to send me out into the streets to get away from it. It’s not that I think that mirrors capture your soul or anything (although I wouldn’t rule it out). I just don’t like the blooming things.

Do medicine cabinets have anti shrinking violet pills in them. I just had a look in mine and all I could find are some old sticky plasters which have lost their stickiness, out of date headache pills and something called agua oxigenada. What on Earth is oxygenated water and why is it in my medicine cabinet? My wife said you put it on cuts and grazes but I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. I am going to drink some and see whether it gives me some the courage to go out and make some new friends, even if they work in the local emergency room at the hospital.

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